"be there or be square."
i think i'd rather be square.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
latchkey princess
what has this become?
a question only countered in some monster movie madness.
sometimes spewed out just before the
signal down.
the wizard of oz in reverse.
from color to black and white.
i am completely obsessed with everyone who is completely unobsessed with me.
or sometimes with life.
and by life i dont mean heartbeats and breathing.
i mean 9 to fives and becoming the suburbs.
the complete fuck off of it all being that i am completely obsessed with backyards, christmas trees and lemonaid stands.
its like the northshore is my heaven,
the valley is my golden gates.
excuse me for nodding off.
always boring myself to death.
take a chill pill.
the story of my life.
take a vote, the eyes have it.
but the knives have our back.
i dont even remember saying goodbye to you.
happiness is the sand in the sea. its just a percentage of a percentage inside a body of water,
life is just a crocodile with a ticking clock inside of it chasing captain hook.
just wanna dip my toe into death to see if its a warm bath.
anytime anything breaks me open i just spit out a fortune.
if it means anything i spend my time with a bunch of people who ignore the vibrant sky and just look for the pot of gold at the end.
addicted to addiction.
if i bashed your head in how good would the secrets be that poured out.
i feel like a penny turned up the wrong way.
put me in the bowl in front of the register anyway.
let me change someones day.
a question only countered in some monster movie madness.
sometimes spewed out just before the
signal down.
the wizard of oz in reverse.
from color to black and white.
i am completely obsessed with everyone who is completely unobsessed with me.
or sometimes with life.
and by life i dont mean heartbeats and breathing.
i mean 9 to fives and becoming the suburbs.
the complete fuck off of it all being that i am completely obsessed with backyards, christmas trees and lemonaid stands.
its like the northshore is my heaven,
the valley is my golden gates.
excuse me for nodding off.
always boring myself to death.
take a chill pill.
the story of my life.
take a vote, the eyes have it.
but the knives have our back.
i dont even remember saying goodbye to you.
happiness is the sand in the sea. its just a percentage of a percentage inside a body of water,
life is just a crocodile with a ticking clock inside of it chasing captain hook.
just wanna dip my toe into death to see if its a warm bath.
anytime anything breaks me open i just spit out a fortune.
if it means anything i spend my time with a bunch of people who ignore the vibrant sky and just look for the pot of gold at the end.
addicted to addiction.
if i bashed your head in how good would the secrets be that poured out.
i feel like a penny turned up the wrong way.
put me in the bowl in front of the register anyway.
let me change someones day.
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"your hand is holding the trigger to my heart" and i'm sick of all the cliche's i hear and say. i'm tired of you and your smile. wake me up before i fall asleep. keep me awake before i die. you've got all that passion in your head and none in your heart. maybe that's a good thing. i know too much about that. i only wish i could hate you. maybe a few more scars down the road, baby...
they only pose questions like: what makes you tick?
we throw back whatever. So here’s to fresh starts.
I wanna know what it’s like to live out of a suitcase.
To not be tied down by thoughts and authority.
been staying up lately thanks to you and ideas.
if you cut me open i am the single most regular person that has ever existed.
it scares me.
it electrifies me.
I keep the radio on loud so I don’t feel alone.
I’m ready to be remembered, but keep me away from the inside of your head.
we are bricks on gas pedals.
we are the ink on forged checks.
i will make you mine and then forget you.
my head is too crowded for the company.
He told me I belong in a hospital so I can forget who I am.
Jokes on him.
I never really knew who I was.
we throw back whatever. So here’s to fresh starts.
I wanna know what it’s like to live out of a suitcase.
To not be tied down by thoughts and authority.
been staying up lately thanks to you and ideas.
if you cut me open i am the single most regular person that has ever existed.
it scares me.
it electrifies me.
I keep the radio on loud so I don’t feel alone.
I’m ready to be remembered, but keep me away from the inside of your head.
we are bricks on gas pedals.
we are the ink on forged checks.
i will make you mine and then forget you.
my head is too crowded for the company.
He told me I belong in a hospital so I can forget who I am.
Jokes on him.
I never really knew who I was.
obsessions
I am sure i have been loved. I have obsessed over love. the kind of love of getting in and out of trouible. I have hoped for love that is beyond you being caught by me or me trying to slip through the cracks. I hope for a love that is like astronomers who desribe distant planets. Even as experts it is a too far off to even properly calculate no matter how much you adore it. And I am no expert. When was the last time you felt proud of me? Then i ask myself,when was the last time I did anything worth your pride? When was the last time I was moved, not like a piece in a board game but like a piece in a heart. Or life. When was the last time I didn't see the world in an "you always stick your neck out" or "can't catch a break" kind of way. You are the kind they cut off ears for and start wars over. You are a distant planet, no one would get from afar. You are the dream that I can't remember but can't forget. You are the trap door magicians never reveal. You're my last trick. You're my grand finale.
You’re like america’s next top nightmare,
But replace “america” with “my”.
It’s not like you woud know anyway.
You’re like the dream you can always remember
But can’t wait to forget.
I’m like one of those movies you buy in a hotel with every button but rewind.
have at it.
your jokes turn into fake smiles.
fake people.
it doesn’t matter.
i can’t ever get the right words to the right people.
its hard being careless, even harder to be carefree.
Wish I was the first,
But I’m just the second.
Kind of like in life.
tricking yourself into thinking you matter enough for someone to remember to forget you is the best kind of magic of all.
my mouth moves faster than my head ever could and lets not even speak of the words at my finger tips.
they are never thought through.
they just come and come. like light under the door.
If you gave me a course I’m sure I could find some way to come off of it.
Don’t try and argue with manics.
it’s not worth your breath.
Growing up is becoming old,
I wanna be a kid again.
With the new beginnings and “everything’s possible”.
i am always leaving you high and dry.
i am always leaving you out in the cold.
because i am regular. minus all of this.
If anyone ever really knew me, they'd string me up and leave me as a sign of what not to become.
How not to turn out.
There isn't a goddamned thing that sparkles in my eyes anymore.
There isn't magic in there.
Can't even put a sentence together.
Hurt the ones you love.
Love the ones you hurt.
If you looked inside you'd see artifacts that'd proved I once gave a fuck.
Daydreams of love. They beg for an inch and take a mile.
But replace “america” with “my”.
It’s not like you woud know anyway.
You’re like the dream you can always remember
But can’t wait to forget.
I’m like one of those movies you buy in a hotel with every button but rewind.
have at it.
your jokes turn into fake smiles.
fake people.
it doesn’t matter.
i can’t ever get the right words to the right people.
its hard being careless, even harder to be carefree.
Wish I was the first,
But I’m just the second.
Kind of like in life.
tricking yourself into thinking you matter enough for someone to remember to forget you is the best kind of magic of all.
my mouth moves faster than my head ever could and lets not even speak of the words at my finger tips.
they are never thought through.
they just come and come. like light under the door.
If you gave me a course I’m sure I could find some way to come off of it.
Don’t try and argue with manics.
it’s not worth your breath.
Growing up is becoming old,
I wanna be a kid again.
With the new beginnings and “everything’s possible”.
i am always leaving you high and dry.
i am always leaving you out in the cold.
because i am regular. minus all of this.
If anyone ever really knew me, they'd string me up and leave me as a sign of what not to become.
How not to turn out.
There isn't a goddamned thing that sparkles in my eyes anymore.
There isn't magic in there.
Can't even put a sentence together.
Hurt the ones you love.
Love the ones you hurt.
If you looked inside you'd see artifacts that'd proved I once gave a fuck.
Daydreams of love. They beg for an inch and take a mile.
i'm gonna set you free
we've been indoctrinated to crave the idea of the extraordinary ordinary we love to hate everything in other people that we hate about ourselves. arrogantly insecure and vice versa. and life lately is just always about the spins and collateral damage. in love with the idea of permanent impermanence. so careful of stuttered over articulation, as though saying the word better would somehow make it mean more. the worlds worst kind of diary. pulled the pause button off of every electronic gadget in my home-i despise it. strangely fulfilled by the idea of loving strangers and hating my few remaining friends. how there had to be an inkling in the head of neal armstrong to just stay on the moon and wait for the air to run out, besides the fact thats what we are all doing sort of in the long run only he'd have a better view.
sleepless in seattle-i wish.
when they rip the tickets i hope i'm on the ride with you. sleepless in seattle and pretty much everywhere else-won't bore you with the details, but actually i probably will. you don't have to be a train to come off track. don't have to have feathers to flee the coop. i don't gotta tell you about my adventures, i keep them in my head and forget them and remember them every once in awhile. i watch them on projector screens while you are talking about your magazine or countdown. were flypaper baby-but nothings sticks. molded from teflon and porcelain. doesn't take much shining around for you to want to get back under that rock you crawled out from. i found a point when i was searching for pointlessness. i found a love when i was looking for madness. gonna save your sweat for when we get to heaven. autocratic hearts and throats-tongues loving on the skin and words-listening too carefully and robbing them of their beauty. you only think i'm blooming when im wilting on the outside. dying to be dearly forgotten, not wrongly remembered. you dont have to sell me on how this isnt real, cause my guts are whats in deep not my head or my heart. sometimes i get the feeling when i walk into a room like i'm in some movie from the forties where i've been shipwrecked and marooned on a desert island, only to return to a life that is no longer mine. or maybe just a raft adrift, except i slept through the s.o.s. calls. i'm projecting. i'm bobbing and weaving. i'm deflecting. only because i want to mean more than all of this.
pooh vs piglet
remember this is real. even when your head is spinning and your heart is fluttering. we are on the inside. the cage spins the bird free. dont for a second think i have forgotten you or the way you make me smile on gray days or in stormy weather.
current location: hell,texas.
wishing away thoughts. it is in a nightlife minute that i realize i have to get out of this town. it doesn't believe in my love or my words-i want to remember a few of these people,i want to forget most of them. i want to be owned by simplicity again.
shape up,ship out
how can i talk to you so smoothly through these fingertips,
but not through this mouth?
probably because i know you'll never read this before i ever even start.
always expecting me to "shape up."
shape up your motherfucking self.
of course,it's all in good fun,isn't it?
but not through this mouth?
probably because i know you'll never read this before i ever even start.
always expecting me to "shape up."
shape up your motherfucking self.
of course,it's all in good fun,isn't it?
better be ready
might as well stop thinking period,
just gets me in more trouble as usual.
brain over beauty,
but you like it vice versa.
the doctor told me to stop conversing with my fist and start conversing with my mouth.
of course,it's usually my mouth that gets my fist in the conversation to begin with.
just gets me in more trouble as usual.
brain over beauty,
but you like it vice versa.
the doctor told me to stop conversing with my fist and start conversing with my mouth.
of course,it's usually my mouth that gets my fist in the conversation to begin with.
backyards,christmas trees,and lemonade stands
all we add up to is empty promises.
wishing on airplanes and light towers doesn't do me any good in this city.
sell me your soul,
it's out this season.
doesn't look like you'll be using it anytime soon anyways.
guns and knives are nothing compared to your expectations.
wishing on airplanes and light towers doesn't do me any good in this city.
sell me your soul,
it's out this season.
doesn't look like you'll be using it anytime soon anyways.
guns and knives are nothing compared to your expectations.
get the feeling of feeling
sick of living in the future.
everything just prepares us for something bigger and brighter,
until death takes us and it's all gone for nothing.
terrified of not making an impact,
at least one someone's life.
seeing what difference i can make with ten dollars in my pocket and a life to spare.
i wanna live in the here and now.
easier said than done.
everything just prepares us for something bigger and brighter,
until death takes us and it's all gone for nothing.
terrified of not making an impact,
at least one someone's life.
seeing what difference i can make with ten dollars in my pocket and a life to spare.
i wanna live in the here and now.
easier said than done.
i'm in love with the rescuers
i'm just a painter drawing a blank.
your heart screams "save me",
but your face says "fuck off".
i could learn to miss you.
i could learn to pity fools-
because i'm the biggest one and i'm always feeling sorry for myself.
if poker was life,
you'd be an expert.
you'd win every time.
too bad it's not.
i'm sick of these shackles.
i want the wild fucking west.
your heart screams "save me",
but your face says "fuck off".
i could learn to miss you.
i could learn to pity fools-
because i'm the biggest one and i'm always feeling sorry for myself.
if poker was life,
you'd be an expert.
you'd win every time.
too bad it's not.
i'm sick of these shackles.
i want the wild fucking west.
counting stars.
sometimes i wish i was as invisible as you make me to be.
tiny armies in my head fighting my concience.
but it's not really that difficult to kill a cricket.
there's only one person on this planet i would love to lay on the curb
and count stars with.
it's too bad you're asleep.
not like you can see the stars anymore,anyways.
tiny armies in my head fighting my concience.
but it's not really that difficult to kill a cricket.
there's only one person on this planet i would love to lay on the curb
and count stars with.
it's too bad you're asleep.
not like you can see the stars anymore,anyways.
never mind.
strike a pose,babe.
this ain't a hallway,
it's a runway.
these days originality is just conforming.
i'm a pessimist.
only see the dark sides of things.
shed me some light,looks like you've got plenty.
no more neverminds.
apparently i live for them.
this ain't a hallway,
it's a runway.
these days originality is just conforming.
i'm a pessimist.
only see the dark sides of things.
shed me some light,looks like you've got plenty.
no more neverminds.
apparently i live for them.
paula abdul and that freaky cartoon cat
"take my heart but please don't break it."
fuck that.
don't care if you break it,
so long as you take it in the first place.
unlikely.
invitation only?
who gives a shit.
crash it anyway.
not talking about parties,
talking about hearts.
what exactly are we saving our time up for, anyways?
i'm tired of hearing from everyone to take small steps.
i wanna fucking leap.
sometimes i wonder if murder victims ever even wanted to be alive in the first place.
fuck that.
don't care if you break it,
so long as you take it in the first place.
unlikely.
invitation only?
who gives a shit.
crash it anyway.
not talking about parties,
talking about hearts.
what exactly are we saving our time up for, anyways?
i'm tired of hearing from everyone to take small steps.
i wanna fucking leap.
sometimes i wonder if murder victims ever even wanted to be alive in the first place.
explain the unexplainable
i want a sign on my heart that reads "taken",
not "broken".
ready for new faces.
i love everyone who hates me,
but mostly the other way around.
waiting for you to change my mind.
call the ship in,
it's made no discoveries so far.
i'm completely aware of my complete unimportance,
to you at least.
sometimes i think i wouldn't mind getting caught.
if my concience is a cricket,
then my heart is a wasp.
sick if cliches and crocodile lies.
we're all pretenders.
even you.
not "broken".
ready for new faces.
i love everyone who hates me,
but mostly the other way around.
waiting for you to change my mind.
call the ship in,
it's made no discoveries so far.
i'm completely aware of my complete unimportance,
to you at least.
sometimes i think i wouldn't mind getting caught.
if my concience is a cricket,
then my heart is a wasp.
sick if cliches and crocodile lies.
we're all pretenders.
even you.
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